Visualize it’s midnight , a soft spring breeze is dancing in the dark ,the savory smell of lost enthusiasm & failed youthful dreams spins around. You’re still going out every night. You say „ I need that to feel alive“.But why do you feel so goddamn weak and dead on your late night walk back home?, always all alone?Unfortunately you’re crossing someones way, you don’t like people seeing you in this mood.But thank god he seems to be totally busy and lost in his thoughts. Probably one of those guys you have been yourself a few years ago.a few years ago before you set your self down, before your mind decided to hang up.before you lost a part of yourself after one of those crazy party nights you had too many of.On the other side of the street the dude is making his way through the night. He doesn’t notice this old drunk.no one of the hundreds he always passes on his way.Cause you know this will not happen to you.Your thoughts are clear, your goals are set. And hell you worked hard for this.Since you have started to live your life by your own you know that one day you will burst your chains and start somewhere else a new life in the conditions you choose.Ok after school you said probably another rat race would be good to make sure you’ll not see yourself homeless and broke one day.And yeah your parents won’t let you go without.Now the final exams are coming up and just because everybody around has settled themselves into this society ranking and knows what’s next you don’t have to be there as well, or do you?
Consider yourself a late night dreamer, you are different, you can make clouds disappear from the sky if you want. As long as you really want.so let’s go to bed son. the next morning is already knocking at the door , bare his teeth to a grimy smile. A couple hours later you have to wake up.
You went to bed way to late and now the only thing that shelters you from blinding morning light are your fancy sunglasses. Thank god your doing so well. And hey you, you know what you’re doing this for. Just a couple more months this damn routine and you can get rid of everything.A brief look at your agenda lets you know that your deadline has already passed. You should be somewhere else, my friend! That is the hint that this aching daylight is giving to you! From a balcony around the corner this strange woman is watching you passing by. “Why the fuck is she sitting there? Still awake or what?” you think weakly nodding to her . And then you turn into the main road.
„Fuck sake I am not that kind of person who’s running a ordinary life like all these undead people there“ she is thinking.„I have moved from heaven to hell for not being a part of this society, I did all wrong they wanted me to do right just to escape from this“Realize its almost morning. Again the first sun ray strikes the flash of distress in every heart.Another day, the same shit from a million ends.
After you went back on your couch you lay down to end this awesome essay you started to read last night. “damn those guys know what they are talking about“ no way in between , no compromise, cause otherwise you, me, everybody will never see a better world.You fell dozy, and with your last thoughts, you think, on this day you have done something to make this place a little better, by preparing your mind for a better way of life. And while seeing you rest in dreams, somewhere else the other gallows still leaching for blood while we are confident with what we have done so far.
In the same street you’re living there are more people fulfilling your task. But they have different manners than you. Anybody who ever did this knows how hard it is to rest on the street while it is just cold and loud outside, while the black mouth of drugs and booze aches in your body and brain. But too late to apologize! Your teachers, your boss, your father and your mother you see the faces from everybody who had put you into this every day and every night. And you know that all you wish for is to lay down and rest for a couple of hours, to be in peace with your own, to be done, to be out of here and sometimes you would rather be dead then suffering another day on this damn cold planet. At least you’re happy about a little tip some random pedestrian tosses you, this saves you a few more drinks, a few more minutes of forgetting who you are.The man who had flipped his change on the ground, he passed by without making a big deal out of his donation. He’s wearing a long coat and looks like a stereo type office clerk. He went down the road pretty fast to catch the train downtown.where all the other office clerks running circles right now.He is thinking how weird it would be when someday everybody stays at home enjoying themselves without any reason just taking a timeout from this world. The world would stand still for only one day. Quite and peace, how awesome would that be?
A cold wind rushes him away from his dream and he remembers the winter time and the homeless guy.Imagine it’s winter and it’s damn cold outside. You’re fucked up and have to rest on a public bench somewhere!But this can’t happen to you, nine to five keeps you secured, keeps you warm. Some snowflakes, which tip on your nose, let you know that there is another ice cold world running 24 / 7 in yourself. So what would you rather be?
A few weeks later, the same clerk runs out of your office and you feel, it must be late in the afternoon. your body is tired from workloads and lessons like in your sunset years .the sundowning reminds you of what this day has brought to you again & again & again. what a weak!
This is just another day from one of the million ends. The whole world creates a huge wire of individual story lines melted to a network we call our lives. All these tiny stories running the same plot – hundred tragedies per second. But we only see our selfs. We are not willing to see more.And if we could see that everybody around us, chasing for the same dreams, wants to be released from his suffering in the same way we do, the same way I do, would it make any difference?This street , this city , this World. The whole lifetime is just a big fat Joke no one will remember.
Visualize it is Summer in the cities, all we have suffered for ages must become true now. Suffocating heat shows you that you have to wait another year, probably forever …
This is what we deserved, this world is just a reflection of what we want it to be, of what we want to be ourselves.We are the late runners, the last chapter in the story & this part is ours